Saturday, September 19, 2015

How's That Again?

We sometimes write before we think, and then we don't think before we publish. Because of this, good proof-reading is something everyone should practice. But the English, she is a tricky language. Because we all live in glass houses, we cannot blame the poor souls who have been embarrassed to have written the following signs and headlines

On a bathroom door:

Toilet Out Of OrderPlease Use Floor Below

In a Laundromat:

Automatic Washing Machines: Please Remove All Your Clothes When The Light Goes Out

In a London department store:

Bargain Basement Upstairs

In an office:

Would The Person Who Took The Step Ladder Yesterday Please Bring It Back Or Further Steps Will Be Taken

In another office:

After Tea Break, Staff Should Empty The Teapot And Stand Upside Down On The Draining Board

Outside a second-hand shop:

We Exchange Anything - Bicycles, Washing Machines, Etc. Why Not Bring Your Wife Along And Get A Wonderful Bargain?

Notice in health food shop window:

Closed Due To Illness

Spotted in a safari park:

Elephants, Please Stay In Your Car.

Seen during a conference:

For Anyone Who Has Children And Doesn't Know It, There Is A Day Care On The 1st Floor.

Notice in a farmer's field:

The Farmer Allows Walkers To Cross The Field For Free, But The Bull Charges.

Message on a leaflet:

If You Cannot Read, This Leaflet Will Tell You How To Get Lessons.

On a repair shop door:

We Can Repair Anything. (Please Knock Hard On The Door - The Bell Doesn't Work.)

Newspaper Headlines:

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife And Daughter

This one in the San Gabriel Valley Tribune, the Editorial Room asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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